Puty's Journal

Well, okay, I don’t mean to start acting corny by writing my bloody love life with tears rolling down to the keyboard. I actually never ever do. At least not to the keyboard. But let’s just make fun of it :P

Okay. So my most recent crush has got over his life in Bandung. In the other way round, I fall in love with this city, and my life here. But the point is: he’s gone, and I’m damned. I’m damned and desperate, just as usual. And I’m getting used to it. Being damned and desperate. And I’m damned and desperate because I’m getting used to being damned and desperate. Still with me this far?

Actually I have to be honest that getting used to being damned and desperate has made me much more difficult than ever. He’s gone. I’m getting over him. I got over him. I started my crush with a friend, and it took less than a jiffy to know that there’s no bloody way it would work. But I can’t help it. I hugged him, but a moment later all I could do was letting only Sean Lennon sing for me.

You can’t regret what you forget
If only you could forget it
But it takes time and plenty of wine
The weight of the world there in your eyes
Nothing could ever come to you unless you try, try, try,
You find yourself in trouble
If you cannot tell a lie
Its easy as pie

Somewhere out there inbetween
The moon and the sea
I’ll be waiting for you, my dear,
Just wait and see

Even the other side doesn’t give a better melodrama scenario of love life. I hate hurting people. I hate people who make me hurting them. I hate hate those guys, because they do make me hurt them. Still with me this far? Not? That’s okay. My main point is: I don’t see any future boyfriend here and now.

Let’s just jump to how I see the fun side.

There’s a guy. I never tell anything about him. Why? Simple reason. I don’t know him.

But I always see him. I see him here. I see him there. I see him. Present tense. It becomes a habit more than coincidental stuff. And I start to call him “jodoh gue”, and yes, aren’t I making fun of my own love life? Huh :P

And today, until afternoon, I hadn’t got any sight of him.

“Jessikaaa… Ah, sial hari ini gue nggak ketemu jodoh gue. Gak jadi jodoh donggg…”
“Yaa… Puty. Mungkin jodohnya sama Steffi ya..”
“Ah sial..”
“Eh, eh Puty… Itu bukan tuh jodoh elo, di depan comlabs, yang biru, yang biru…”
“Ah mana, mana…”
“Itu, yang biru..”
“Oh iyaaa…. Benar… Ah memang jodoh.”
“Haha, iya, benar-benar jodoh..”
“… *senyum-senyum bego*”

I don’t know him.

Ah. my bloody damned desperate love life….. *cengar-cengir*

haha. this is one of my idea of heaven.
ngopi doeloe sepi, siang-siang.
hostspotan.
baca email.
main facebook.
nggak ada deadline yang menunggu (temporary for sure :P).
nggak ada sms-sms yang menunggu untuk di balas.

she’s a little girl,
with nothing wrong,
and she’s all alone

-Seven Years (Norah Jones)