Thoughts
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Self-Vindication

After my self-introspection in the previous post, I wonder if you would wonder, whether I think about rich people too much.  Whether I complained too much about capitalism. Whether I criticize too much about consumerism. I wonder if you wonder.

Well, I think you do (wondering), and I think I do (paying too much attention to things that are none of my business).

Now I’m telling you.

Since I was a kid, I’ve always been thinking, that I’m the luckiest person in the world. I have great family, great grade, great amount of things I can laugh about, great words to say and write. My family is not a rich one, I would say, (it’s a bit hard to decide because we use money as variable, and money is something infinity, and infinity is just, abstract) we’re just in the middle. I went to school by public transportation. We have our own car, but we don’t have chauffeur.

We could afford another car, honestly. Maybe cash, maybe we could pay in installment. We just could, but my parents decided not to, and I’ve never been a spoiled type. I didn’t ask for a car (until recently), and I never suggest that we should have a chauffeur. Instead, I take the bus. I take the train. I take angkutan kota. I (seldom) take the taxi. Sometimes I’m tired of standing on the bus, of traffic jam, of the sun burning off everything but the dust.

But I live the life. I see the reality. How people struggle through the morning. How the fresh-graduates seek for jobs. How the vegetables are brought to the market. How uncountable plastic glass and bottle and wrapper becomes the rubbish at the end of the day. How the kids, with excitement, chase their dreams, and later they forget it, choosing cigarettes and whatever to be written on the walls. How zero option the city leaves for the pedicab drivers. How old and sad some people that I think they’d better be at home soon.

I see them, maybe just like you do.

So when I see the magazines, or enter the mall, just because I can afford them, or just because I have to do them, and have my own life, I just can’t leave the other part of my life. It haunts me, but unfortunately it is not thriller. It saddens me, but unfortunately it is not drama. It is irony. How some people pull the cart all day just for the price of a cup of tea. A cup of coffee. A gulp of wine. A bite of roast duck. How some people spend the same amount of some other people’s income of a whole month, just for a pair of original rubber shoes with alligator logo, and they complain about life. It is irony for me, for both are real, and both are my life.

I know life is unfair. There is yin, there is yang. There is day, there is night. I’m in the middle of them and I’m going nowhere. I can see both sides like they are transparent but actually separated. Then life leaves me here. Thinking. Be sad when it is sad. Complain when they ask for way too much more, and the other else only get less than none.

Complain when some people go busy busy busy wanting exact pieces of fashion items for the sake of the trends, while some others only have washed out clothes from flea market with the same amount of days in a week. And it’s not one sided judgment.

Oh, well.  I already told the conclusion on the previous post. This is only a late prologue of a self-introspection.

I only wonder of you really wonder.

It’s similar with one of my past post. Maybe I just like this kind of life stuff.

Filed under: Thoughts

by

Puty Puar. F/27. Indonesian. Former rocker, blogger, freelance illustrator, book enthusiast, who is running little business while homemaking. Started this blog in 2002.

8 Comments

  1. Hey Puty, saya setuju dgn tulisan ini. Saya sama seperti kamu, keluarga saya cukup, kemana-mana saya naik angkutan umum, saya berpikir berjuta-juta kali untuk membeli sesuatu. Dan saya setuju dengan kata2 ini “But I live the life. I see the reality” bcs some people are just annoying, complaining their live as if it weren’t that great. wake up people, be grateful.

  2. jadi penonton kali ini. setidaknya bisa melihat bagaimana hitam dan putih bekerja. ironis, tapi itulah hidup :)

  3. Why people complaining? They don’t have any idea about being grateful, maybe? Or, because it’s all about the different point of view?

    We are all stratified into some social classes based on the economical-income welfare. I guess that’s where this different point of views popped-out. Some people judged the other by mistake, and some other judge their own life ~ also ~ by mistake (I experienced this by myself). The best thing we can do, is to strengthen our sense of sensitivity, and boost-up our solidarity to help and at least, care about the other who might be had a worse life than ours.

    Btw, nice writing, put. I can pick it up as my contemplation :P

  4. gee, anda memang jago nulis puti
    saya sirik

    just be careful, dont think about it too much
    you may be feeling sad about it now, but then you’ll learn to hate how the world works and then ignoring it

    just sayin anyway
    ;D

  5. aku suka dengan pendapatmu
    setidaknya aku mendapat pelajaran kehidupan dari kacamata kamu..

    aku teringat dulu ketika seseorang teman sekelas SMA, orang itu rela membolos hingga berminggu2-berbulan2 hanya karena ingin naek motor ketika berangkat sekolah. tapi orangtua dia hanya mampu membeli mungkin sepasang ban motornya saja.

    sebenarnya apa yang mereka pikirkan dengan mengendarai motor sewaktu berangkat sekolah?

  6. Nile says

    Hihi..iseng-iseng maen put…

    Dulu jaman gw masi muda SMA juga sering komplain-komplain. Gw kan dulu pergaulannya ama anak2 jetset, jadinya sering minder dan berkeluh kesah sendiri…haha

    Tapi berhubung sekarang uda lebih dewasa, jadi lebih ngerti kali ya ttg hal-hal kaya gitu. Malah kalo gw komplain ma sirik tetep aja ndak ada apa-apa yang berubah, malah semakin sakit hati jadinya…wahahah

    Sekarang uda ndak pernah mengeluh lagi ttg kondisi, malahan dibikin hepi ama kondisi seadanya…Hehe..
    *kecuali, in case kaya klo di rumah gw banyak kecoak dan gw ga bisa ngendaliinnya…gw cuma bisa mengeluh* :D

  7. ya ya.. we understand.. u explain wht u try to explain..
    and it ngasih impression like u try to explain too hard. That u are affraid tht ppl will judge.
    dear, if u dont want to be judged, make sure u dont start the trend.

    anyway, i think u just care too much. too much “care-effect” and it makes u talk too much. too much “talk-effect”. that u dont actually do something.

    ya ya.. we understand ur point of view, tht rich ppl should have gave some certain percents of their wealth to the poor. everybody knows that. what set the differences are some, just know but do nothing, and, some, they know so they do something.

    ya ya.. we get it. u care about the poor. but please.. stop talking and feeling sad for them.. u cant wait for the rich to give the poor.. but u can teach the poor how to be rich. u can teach the rich how to give the poor. u can DO something.

    from my point of view, u are annoying. stop write and talk. start DO!

  8. duh. elo baik banget ya..
    gue yakin deh.. oraNg kayak lo pasti jarang banget beli barang2 fashion trend, soalnya elo kepikiran sama abang2 becak di luar sana yang anaknya belom tentu bisa sekolah.

    terus menurut lo bagusnya orang2 yg berkecukupan itu ngapain?? bantuin si abang narik becak?? nyumbangin baju2 necisnya ke abang becak??

    elo selama ini selain nulis dan ngomong udah ngelakuin apa aja?? gue yakin elo pasti tiap bulan nyumbang panti asuhan deh! ato malah tiap hari gantiin si abang becak narik becak dan ngajarin anak2nya baca-tulis!

    kesan gue dr tulisan lo, elo orangnya oke bgt! caleg impian di masa depan deh! yang nggak cm komplain ttg kemiskinan, tp act and make change! sipp lah!

    good for you!

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