Month: March 2011

The Day I Turned Mafia

Dear Liga Film Mahasiswa ITB, This is me who has just retired yesterday. After a wonderful year of being one of 13 functionaries, I didn’t know what to say when the-time-everyone-says-“well done, thank you for doing such a good job” came. So I just cried. I couldn’t identify what exactly drove my tears: happiness, pride, sadness, worry, everything like a storm that rushed into my ribs. After a year of concentrating really hard on you, it’s surely very hard as well, to ‘just leave’. After a year of living with other 12 wonderful people as the closest ‘family’, it’s surely very strange when it’s over. Some people might call this exaggeration because today I will meet you again. We will meet again next week, and every Monday. We will meet again on graduation days. Surely I can arrange to meet everyone, everywhere. Maybe I cried because after a year of hard work and leaving some other lives, it was indeed, worth it. Maybe I cried because I have to let someones else to take care …


I define this as my own maelstrom. It is a clearly unseen, murdering, mess of hi’s and goodbye’s; the unconsciousness between dreams and memories; desires to run but not to leave yet ever come back; beautiful promises and betrayals. When possibilities fill up an unborn space of seconds after six hours earlier or six years later. I’m strangled. “‘Maelstrom! Maelstrom!’ s’écriait-il! Le Maelstrom! Un nom plus effrayant dans une situation plus effrayante pouvait-il retentir à notre oreille?” —Jules Verne  (Vingt mille lieues sous les mers)