A few days ago, our best friends couple (both the husband and wife were classmates of my and my husband) lost their baby boy which was stillborn on the 37+ weeks of pregnancy. It happened suddenly and everyone was surprised because everything had been well. The wife seemed to have taken the pregnancy seriously with extra care and I, of course, naturally voluntarily had given her quite a lot of advice and tips and tricks (even when I hadn’t been asked, duh). She, as one of the nicest persons on Earth, of course, had listened to me wholeheartedly.
When the sad news came, I couldn’t move. It took me some minutes to respond and forward the news to the other friends. I visited them the next day and hugged my best friend without words, just tears. That woman I hugged is a sincere and really kind woman, the happy friend who would genuinely congratulate on your success with no jealousy, probably one in a million nowadays. That moment, I felt too much and a question popped: “Why? Why her? What did she do to deserve this?”
On my way home that day, I was busy thinking what I could do to make her feel better because I really wanted to. I’m not a fairy godmother so when I think that way, the person must be special.
Today, I visited them again. I made a handmade card and brought her something that I hoped would bring a tiny happiness for her. I felt relieved to see that they were slowly but surely accepting this and trying their best to be positive. For that, they thanked their family, friends, and relatives for being very supportive.
This afternoon, I still thought about them. Then I thought about myself.
If it happened to me, would people think about me? What kind of person I am? Would people be sad for and with me? Or would people say, ‘Oh yeah, I know her, and she surely deserves it.’?
Because once, I was hurt by someone (for avoiding confusion, I’ll call this person ‘X’). As time went by, I hear that X faced some unfortunate events in life. Although I already forgave X and let it go, I couldn’t help myself thinking, “What comes around goes around indeed.” I knew and realized that I was no one to judge and it could happen to me as well, but it was so hard to resist such thought.
So yeah, I can never be as nice as my best friend I mentioned earlier, but somehow I learned my lesson today and I told myself:
You can’t stop sh*t from happening, but you can try your best so when it happens, people won’t say “That b*tch surely deserves it.”