I’m married to a guy with 2 master degrees, while for me, it’s been 9 years since I had anything to do with academics life. I worked for 5 years in the industry related to my degree, geology, and took a whole different direction after I resigned. Now, I’m doing things mostly related to art and communication. The good news: I have never been asked about what major I took in university to get any job or freelance project. Even when I got asked, I would answer honestly and people would only say, “Oh, that’s interesting. What a pivot.”
Despite the fact that academic background would not affect my ‘career’ (if I really have one), there’s always a part of me wondering: how would it feel, to learn something that I’m genuinely interested and curious about. While I did pretty good and liked geology as a part of Earth Science, my psychology test result I took in high school told me that I was suitable most to these majors:
- Mass communication
- Design and visual communication
- International relation
For years, I kept telling my husband that someday, I’d like to apply for a scholarship for a master degree. He, as a Chevening alumni, has always been supportive but I personally would wait for a better time in terms of family planning. He agreed but suggested that I should also think about this master degree plan thoroughly.
Why do I want to do this? (for personal pride? external validation because everyone is doing it? pure curiosity? career step?) What major I would take? (art? communication?) Why should anyone give a scholarship to ME? What have I done and achieved? What impact and benefit I can bring? To whom would it benefit?
This conversation stuck and it still sticks today. I’m turning 31 this year, I’ve passed the phase of wanting to experience living abroad so I can put “Part time student, full time traveler” on my Instagram bio. I have kid and I’m pretty much ‘settled’ on my current industry (which isn’t really strict about degree). Yet the dream stays, or I may call it today… a mid-long term goal.
I’m still not sure about which university or what major I would take, but I can say that I’ve been consistently interested in women empowerment, specifically in mothers. As a context, it doesn’t put women without kids in any less important position, but to focus more on the struggle that I can relate more.
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I became a mother and a freelancer in 2016. In 2017, I started to create comics and visual content about motherhood on Instagram. I shared it as personal notes and at the same time, a little protest, an anti-thesis of ‘perfect young mama-grams’ who seemed to handle everything perfectly: cute kids, back into good shapes in no time, and always in a good mood.
At the same time, I struggled establishing my freelance career. I even had someone to help me with my baby and the house, but being a working at home mom is not easy. Even though working at home / working from home is a modern lifestyle that can be a modern solution for modern women to be empowered and empower at the same time.
In short, there are MANY expectations for modern mom. To be a good mom by classic definition: to take care of the family and the house, with kids eating healthy homemade food, to be smart and intellectually never-stop-growing, to do something with their education / degree (having good career / inspirational hobbies, etc), etc.
In fact, I was just talking about mothers in a very particular socioeconomic class. These are very exclusive subjects indeed. We haven’t talked about literacy, financial and economic issues, healthcare, and still very far from talking about domestic violence.
However, when we talk about motherhood, we’re talking about something we all have in common: the future.
ALSO READ: My personal mind map about the connection between motherhood and world peace
Mothers are raising the next generation; the future; ours. When mothers are empowered, feeling secure and able to make peace with themselves, they will raise kids with the more or less the same feeling: secure and peaceful. Mothers with good critical thinking skills will raise open minded kids who will think twice before hating things they don’t know.
I’m aware that it takes a village to raise a child, but if I think about it, it was my mother whom I discussed with when a classmate in elementary school said bad things about other religion (I went to moderate Islamic school and my mom used to be an Adventist Christian before converting to Islam).
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I can go on and on and on about how great the impact can be when mothers are empowered. As much as believe that empowering mothers means investing for the future, I also believe that motherhood isn’t limited to the role of a woman raising kids and taking care of the family. We are also talking about moms on play dates, mamas on parents’ committee at school, mothers who do social gathering in the neighborhood, or mommies on group chat. I have this group chat consists of female friends I meet in International Student Festival, and a lot of conversations are fruitful and inspiring (although I must admit that others conversation are more on the ‘fun’ side ;P)
Now, let’s get back to me and my plan so we can end this blog post.
In the past 3 years, I’ve been trying to communicate and talk with other mothers through visual communication, such as comic, illustration, infographic, or simple animation / cartoon. I’ve been sharing about making peace with ourselves, self-acceptance, writing and evaluating goals, the importance of literacy and critical thinking, creativity and productivity through blog, social media, and comic book.
I actually tried other format such as podcast or offline events, but visual and written contents are what I’m doing most. Besides, I’ve been incorporating the spirit of motherhood and family theme in commercial projects or collaboration. They are proven working because most of the brands I’ve worked with respect the value of women empowerment.
So far, I think it’s safe to raise a hypothesis that visual communication through online content, including illustration, comic and cartoon, is one of the effective ways to influence and empower women, including mothers in this era. Illustration, comic, and cartoon can also be inclusive when they are crafted with value and having purposes.
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So far, that’s what I have in mind to answer my husband’s questions regarding the dream / goal / plan. I know I have very limited knowledge and experience about this but I’m willing to learn more. Do I need a master degree? I think it would be interesting to see it from academic / social science points of view, to discuss with data and statistics, to get out of my bubble and have a reason to talk with more people. But for now, I guess I’ll keep this writing here as a personal motivation.
Maybe later, after more years of experience being a mother and talking with more mothers :)
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18 Comments
btw mbak, pernah baca Ultralearning-nya Scott H. Young, ndak? kayaknya kok, bisa bantu jawab pertanyaan ‘apakah-kita-harus-sekolah-lagi’ :)
Wah, menarik, nanti aku cari yaaa :3 thank youuuu
you really reaallyy should get a master degree! so proud of you beh, always ?
thank you Beh. Semoga ada jalan untuk niat baik kita yaa :3
Tahun ini baru memberanikan diri untuk daftar kuliah S2, tahun ini umur saya juga 31 tahun (seumuran donk) menyimpan dulu impian untuk kuliah di luar negeri, daftar di universitas dalam negeri saja dulu, awalnya banyak banget pertimbangan, banyak banget pertanyaan, tapi saya harus maju, demi saya, demi keluarga, demi nusa dan bangsa. Semangatttt
keren banget semangatmu! semoga lancar!
Amin… You too..Makasi sudah mampir di blog saya.
Same here.. Apakah kamu adalah aku? Haha
Waowww, salam kenal yah, terimakasih sudah mampir di sini
Waahhh salam kenal, tossss
Hi Puty, enjoying this sort of longer writing. I’m rooting for you to work on something around women empowerment, regardless a master’s degree is involved or not. This topic’s been on my mind lately, especially with the fact that home isolation can be way more challenging for women faced with demands in their multiple roles. Keen for a (virtual) coffee chat to exchange thought and ideas? ;)
hi Laris! thanks for reading my rants (especially now they’ll hopefully be longer :’))))
YESSS, do you have any idea to start something? I’m definitely in and only one text away! Let;s do the virtual coffee!
Wow!! 31 is not old at all!! Masih banyak kesempatan2 dan juga jangan berhenti untuk belajar. Kalau mau S2, go for it, asal bisa bagi waktu. Itu yg tricky.
Aku memulai petualangan aku utk jadi PR Canada pas umur 30. Mulai semua dari awal. Tapi bedanya wkt itu aku blum berkeluarga. Jadi makan indomi tiap hari pun bisa. Hahaha
Seperti kata peribahasa: ‘it’s better to regret doing something, than regret not doing it at all’. Hahahha
yes, I agree and thanks for the support! :D
Namun memang kalau sudah berkeluarga akan banyak sekali yang harus dipertimbangkan, seperti pendidikan dan kebutuhan emosional anak, karir pasangan, long term family planning, dll. There is age where “it’s better to regret doing something, than regret not doing it at all” should be really put in a context :)
Hi mba Puty! Terima kasih udah menulis ini dan caption di IG nya….membuatku tergugah untuk nulis & rutin ngisi blog biar ga oleng selama pandemi :D :D
semangatttt <3
Puty terimakasih sekali untuk menyuarakan ini. Aku menjadi Ibu di usia 29 tahun, dan sekarang anakku berusia 11 tahun, usiaku 40 saat ini, aku memahami sekali keresahan hatimu dan keinginanmu untuk mencicipi kehidupan bersekolah di luar negeri, hidup fokus di dunia kuliah dan kehidupan kuliah (termasuk pagi berangkat sambil bawa kopi, naik MRT, ngerjain tugas dll dll), kurasa itu impian banyak perempuan ya. Aku berdoa semoga impianmu tercapai ya.
Tapi meanwhile, setelah 11 tahun dan aku masih belum juga sukses menjalani cita-citaku tersebut untuk mencari beasiswa S2 keluar negeri, akhirnya aku sampai dititik simpulan baru. Aku rasa, semua terjadi menurut urutan yang sudah seharusnya terjadi. Karena mungkin memang bukan itu yang harus kita alami. Pada kasusku, sebetulnya aku harus cukup rendah hati untuk mengakui aku bukanlah orang yang punya kemampuan mengatur emosi dengan baik, jadi aku kebayang kalau lagi ada tugas kuliah sementara anakku lagi butuh bantuan, itu akan menjadi beban yang akan membuatku burn out sendiri pastinya. Atau urusan mengkombinasikan pekerjaan dengan kuliah misalnya, aku ga kebayang juga harus multitasking karena memang ternyata tanpa kuliah pun bekerja sudah memakan waktu banyak di 24 jam kita. Jadi, kurasa aku harus berterimakasih karena aku tidak memaksakan ego ku dulu untuk mencari pendidikan lanjutan.
Di sisi lain, ketika anakku mulai masuk sekolah, aku mulai ada waktu longgar, aku menemukan banyak pintu-pintu baru yang bisa dieskplorasi. Kebetulan, saat ini aku berprofesi menjadi seorang guru yoga, jadi ketika anakku sekolah, aku bisa mengajar yoga untuk 1-2 jam, kemudian masih bisa mengurus anak, menjemput dan mengantar les ini dan itu.
Disini aku setuju banget dengan tulisanmu, “ketika kita menjadi ibu yang memiliki perasaan aman dan berdamai dengan diri sendiri, kita akan mendidik anak dengan perasaan yang sama.” Itu aku rasakan betul. Karena ternyata Puty, tugas seorang Ibu ga selesai sampai anak kita masuk sekolah, percaya deh, ribetnya ternyata tetap sama seiring dengan anak kita beranjak usia. Kita akan menemani dia belajar, ekstra mengajari anak karena dia lemah di salah satu mata pelajaran, dan ditambah kita juga harus mempertimbangkan sisi sosial anak, playdate, musik, olahraga, etc. Percaya deh, ga akan jadi lowong waktunya.
Jadi aku merasa, pilihanku saat ini adalah bentuk yang paling baik yang aku pilih secara alam bawah sadar yang sesuai dengan kemampuanku saat ini. Memiliki pekerjaan yang baik, masih bisa mengurus anak, dan masih bisa memiliki self-esteem yang dikembangkan dari kemampuan berbagi karya bagi sesama lewat mengajar yoga. Sama sepertimu, yang misalnya berkarya lewat gambar dan tulisan, terimakasih ya. Bonusnya, kadang kala aku berkesempatan mencicipi ala-ala sekolah di luar, ketika aku ikut workshop atau teacher training yoga di kota lain, walaupun paling biasanya hanya 5 hari, atau tiga hari. Tapi itu cukup jadi hiburan, merasakan bangun pagi dan pergi ke tempat kursus, membawa matras, buku dan catatan untuk belajar, dan bertemu teman-teman yang baru. Mungkin diceritamu, misalnya ikut kursus story telling, dan lain sebagainya. Kurasa, honing skill kita itu juga sama pentingnya menambah ilmu secara akademis di era saat ini.
Terimakasih sudah menyuarakan ini ya, aku mengerti banget perasaan lapar ilmu dan self-achievement yang ingin kita – kaum perempuan – miliki. Good luck on your endevour, but if this may help, sabar-sabar ya Puty, there’s season for eveything, and that everything happen for a reason. Kecup sayang. ?
Hi, Kak Puty, been following this blog since reading one of Kakak’s writing about financial planning. Eventhough I haven’t married and had kids yet I get a lot of insight and knowledge from this blog about women’s life. I wish whatever your dream is, it could be achieved at the right moment. Please continue to write ya Kak. I am so happy I can get to know this blog ?