Early Personal Reflection This Year

2019 has been a really busy year for me; yet a real deal. I did not win any international award of fly to another continent this year but there were many things to highlight and be grateful about. Most of them are work related but somehow I felt that those works helped me to figure out what I’m trying to do and what kind of change in the world I’m trying to be.

I know it sounds very serious (and boring?) but this year, I’ve been asked on an interview, at least twice, by total strangers about who I am and what message I’ve been trying to deliver as an illustrator / blogger / content creator / book author / whatever I claim myself to be. I answered that I’m a mom; I want to empower, be empowered and make the world (at least slightly) a better place.

In fact, what I’ve been doing this year are pretty random; I tried podcasting, I joined an Intellectual Property Commercialization training from the then government, I joined community that consists of communities, I promote reading through an online bookclub I founded, I shared things about journaling and self-discovery, I spoke at events discussing about content creation and working from home, I reviewed movies and shared my holiday videos, I created stickers for Facebook, I participated on creating an event for mothers to think more critically, and so the list goes. But again, I ask myself, do they make the world (at least) a slightly better place? Have I taken any action for ‘peace’ like what I preached last year?

So I spent an entire day reviewing what I’ve done this year; what I tried and failed, what I didn’t try but happened miraculously, what I tried with blood, sweat and tears and succeeded. I reviewed them and asked myself again; why did I do them all?

Then I came up with this mind map:

This mind map represents everything I did. Almost all of work related stuff are part of being an empowered mother and recreational stuff belongs to ‘self-love’ and ‘self-acceptance’ part. I tried to integrate ‘literacy’ and realized that raising curious and open minded children might contribute to world peace. At least, that’s what I believe and am promoting; that world peace may start from home and mother is the heart of a home.

I took a look at it again and start drawing layers;

Without really thinking about it, I could divide them into 3 main zones:

• Being a mother as myself; a person, an individual
• Being a mother as part of the family
• Being a mother as part of the society
• + a little zone -> being a mom in digital life

I even wow-ed at myself because the mind map looks legit :p

And when I scrolled down on my Instagram timeline, I wrote this last September:

There are moments I ask myself, “Do I actually make any impact?” Am I making any impact while this world is kinda chaotic, while our sea is polluted with plastic and world peace doesn’t seem to be realistic?

But then it hit me that there are so many issues in this world and they don’t negate each other.

Climate change issue doesn’t make mental health issue matter less. In fact, everything is connected to each other. When we talk about self-acceptance and defining goals for mothers, it may empower them to raise better and more empowered children. More empowered children may cooperate and collaborate better for more peaceful world.

When mothers’ literacy skills are improved, family discussion will be more fruitful and it can inspire fathers, sons & daughters to make better and more sustainable decisions in their lives.

At this point, I think I’ll just start doing what I can; maybe through words, doodles, comics, offline class or discussion about the issues that relate to me the most. And maybe, if everyone starts doing same thing, we can progress together towards a better world. Maybe.

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So the dots connected, or so I thought. I’m grateful of my privileges; for I’ve been able to meet a lot inspiring people, learn things and get new points of views. I would try my best to make the most of my privileges and, even though in 2019 I turned 30 (and be on the least romantic I’ve even been in life), I believe I’m not too old for dreaming of making the world a better place.

One step at a time, no matter what shoes I’m wearing.